Marriages are destroyed for lack of knowledge— ignorance about the purpose, meaning, and principles of marriage. In Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage, Dr. Myles Munroe went intensively into these subjects and gave an encompassing guide that can make any marriage work. I’ll suggest you read the book for yourself.
What Is Love by Dr. Myles Munroe?
According to Dr. Myles Munroe, true love is not an emotion; it is the decision to commit to and meet the needs of a person and expect nothing. True love has no reason, expectations, or conditions. It is a choice to remain committed to someone regardless of what they do or don’t do.
What Is Marriage by Dr. Myles Munroe?
According to Dr. Myles Munroe, marriage is a God-ordained institution, a lifelong relationship between one man and one woman. Marriage is a process, a fusion of two distinct and different elements into one—a sparkling jewel of love, faithfulness, and commitment that shines brightly in a world of short-lived fads and impermanence.
Over time and under the heat and pressure of life, two people under the covenant of marriage come together and are lost in each other to the point where it becomes impossible to tell where one leaves off and the other begins.
Marriage is bigger than the two people in it, which is the way it should be. God instituted marriage; it belongs to Him, not us. Marriage is two imperfect people committing themselves to a perfect institution, by making perfect vows from imperfect lips before a perfect God.
10 Reasons To Get Married by Dr. Myles Munroe
Getting married for the wrong reason is building the union upon an unstable foundation. Here are 10 correct reasons why you should get married.
- Because it is God’s will.
- Expressing God’s love to the other person
- Expressing personal love for the other person.
- To fulfill sexual needs and desires in a godly way
- The desire to begin a family
- To share all things together with the other person.
- To work together to fulfill each other’s needs.
- To maximize each person’s potential.
- Enhancement of spiritual growth
10 Foundations For A Successful Marriage by Dr. Myles Munroe
- Financial stability
How To Choose A Wife/Husband by Dr. Myles Munroe
In choosing a spouse, you must possess and check out for the presence of these 8 traits. They increase the chances of you both being able to live together successful
Notice that this is adaptability, not compatibility. Adaptability is a stronger trait for relationships that will work than compatibility. Compatibility focuses on how many things you have in common. It is necessary but there’ll still be differences between you.
Adaptability on the other hand is your ability to adjust to each other regardless of your differences. So the differences wouldn’t be a problem unlike the ones focusing on compatibility.
Empathy is sensitivity to the needs, hurts, and desires of others—the ability to feel with them and experience the world from their perspective. Love and marriage are a relationship of meeting the needs of the other. If one or both of you aren’t sensitive to the needs of the other person, there’ll be so much dissatisfaction in the union.
3. Ability to work through problems
Claiming to be able to solve every problem is a lie. But a successful marriage is made up of a couple who has decided and remains committed to solving as many problems together as they can and finding their way around the ones they can’t. But you must never pretend problems don’t exist or neglect them.
4. Ability to give and receive love
This is especially important for males. Most females don’t have problems giving and receiving love. But males are pressured by society into believing they must remain tough and hide their emotional needs. While you both must give love, you must also receive love from the other person.
5. Emotional stability
This means being able to control your emotions and not let them run away from you. It means bridling your temper and not making excuses for immature emotional outbursts. This is a product of will more than skill. Everybody has power over their emotions if they are willing to tame them. See a guide to controlling your emotions.
6. Ability to communicate
Communication can either destroy or strengthen any relationship. Intimacy and bonds are products of effective communication. So both the husband and the wife must understand to express their intentions and feelings to the other party in a way they’d fully understand. They must also know that males and females communicate at different levels.
7. Similarities between the couples themselves
Every marriage involves the joining of two different people, but there should be some distinct similarities as well: common interests, common hobbies, a common faith, or similar political views for example. There needs to be some common meeting ground between the two.
8. Similar family background
Now, people with different backgrounds can have successful marriages but these traits are focusing on increasing the chances. People with similar family backgrounds will find it easier to get along with each other because there’ll be fewer things to adapt to.
4 Types of Love by Dr. Myles Munroe
1. Phileo Love
Phileo is love on the level of casual friendship, the affection we have for someone we are familiar with. We are naturally attracted to other people who share similar interests with us or in whom we find a kindred spirit. True friendship is a spice of life.
A friend is someone with whom we can share our deepest thoughts and our inner selves. One reason friendships develop is because the people involved feel that they are compatible with each other to some degree or another. This is fine for a casual friendship but it is not the best criteria for choosing a spouse.
The most successful relationships usually involve two people who are either opposites or at least very different from each other. Because of their differences, they balance each other out, complementing and adding to each other instead of competing with each other which is common among people who have similar traits.
2. Storge Love
Storge describes the tender affection of parents toward their children and that of children toward their parents. Even though our love for our parents and our siblings is real, there is still an underlying sense that we love them because we are supposed to.
Whenever an unloving feeling arises in us toward any family member, a feeling of guilt usually arises with it. We don’t feel loving, yet at the same time, we feel that we should. From this perspective, then, storge is similar to phileo in that it can easily foster a sense of obligation. We love, not because we want to but because we have to.
3. Eros Love
Eros embraces sexual longing, craving, and desire with no respect for sanctity; sensual ecstasy that leaves moderation and proportion far behind. Unlike true love, eros is completely sensual.
It centers on the physical stimulation of the five senses—sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch— and the desires and cravings aroused by those senses.
Because it is physical in nature, eros is controlled by chemical reactions and interactions within the body. Relationships built around eros last only as long as the physical attraction and desire that drew the people together in the first place.
4. Agape Love
Agape refers to divine love, the love God has for His people as well as the love His people give back to Him. Unlike phileo and storge, agape carries no obligation, holds no expectations, and lays down no conditions.
Agape is unconditional love. Agape is self-giving. Finally, agape is a choice. It is based not on emotion but deliberate decision. The Bible plainly states that God loves us but it never tells us why He loves us. There is no “why.”
Because it is a decision—a deliberate choice—agape is constant. Unlike emotion-based “love,” agape never changes.
No successful marriage just happens— it is made to happen. And the quality of every marriage is dependent on the quality of the singles in it. Both parties must open up to knowledge and commit to the marriage above committing to themselves.
Because you read this far, I want to give you Lifetime Access to over $1,000 worth of mentorship materials from Dr. Myles Munroe on purpose, leadership, success, wealth, and the Kingdom. Get instant access to all life-changing materials now!
Olusegun Iyejare is a career coach and certified counselor. He helps individuals discover and maximize their potential to live satisfying lives regardless of obvious limitations holding them back.