Shame is a deep feeling of inadequacy that constantly clouds the unconscious mind of shame based individuals. This feeling always assures or reminds the individual that something is wrong with them, that they don’t (and worse, can’t) match up with certain standards they project for their life.
Shame is a lingering consciousness. Most victims don’t recognise they have shame-based thought patterns because of the natural and logical disguise in which they come. These thought patterns always produce reasons and prove why the individual is bad. Shame is different from guilt which comes as a result of something wrong a person perceives they have done or caused.
Difference Between Shame and Guilt
Guilt, most times, can be gotten over when the individual thinks they have not ‘made up’ for the wrong they have done but shame on the other hand doesn’t focus on an act but on the person. If you have shame-based thought patterns, you will fight yourself and condemn yourself when you do something you think you shouldn’t do.
While guilt says, This thing I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m deeply sorry. Shame says I have done another wrong. I am always wrong. I can’t be any good. I am a total mess just as I have always been.
Causes of Shame-based Thought Patterns
Shame-based thought patterns are formed majorly from our childhood.
People who grow up in abusive environment can easily get the message that they are undeserving, inadequate and inferior. In other words, that they should feel ashamed. –Verywell mind
Shame-based thought patterns are also common to people who have suffered from traumatic experiences in the past like the loss of a loved one or rape. Their inner critic picks up the experience and tries to make them see how their bad self is the originator of all the dark moments. To understand how the inner critic works and how to make it work for you, read this.
Freedom from shame-based thought patterns is possible but it takes time. The conditioning of the mind to those mindsets didn’t come at once so it will also take time to recondition the mind into right thinking. This is where self-affirmation comes in.
What Is Affirmation For Shame?
Affirmation for shame is the journey to convincing yourself (your inner critic) that you are not bad and there is nothing wrong with you because, really, there is nothing wrong with you.
Now, over to the shame breaking affirmations you should declare over yourself daily.
71 Affirmations For Guilt and Shame
1. I am not inadequate. There is nothing wrong with me.
2. I am beautiful and worthy of admiration
3. I am worthy of respect and honour
4. There is nothing to be ashamed of in me
5. I am not a pack of junks
6. I am valuable, skillful and talented
7. I can produce good results and positive impact
8. I add sauce everywhere I enter
9. I possess solutions to people’s problems
10. I am not the cause of bad happenings
11. I am a big deal
12. I am lovable
13. People don’t hate me
14. I am not messed up
15. The world is not against me
16. My past to does not define me
17. I am in control of my life
18. Things will still work out for me
19. I am intelligent
20. I am productive
21. I am needed
22. God is on my side
23. All things are working for my good
24. I am forgiven
25. I am free
26. I am likable
27. I am friendly
28. I can still live happy and I choose to live happy
29. I still have healthy relationships
30. I am worthy
31. Whatever happened to me hasn’t marred my personality
32. I am still good
33. I am bold and confident
34. My scars are becoming a ministry
35. I rise above all limitations
36. I rise above negativity and fear
37. I face life with optimism
38. My best days are ahead of me
39. I am helping others to get out of shame
40. My presence doesn’t bring evil
41. God has invested His love in me
42. I am shining and admirable
43. Everybody wants me on their team
44. I am continually growing
45. My pasts are behind me and can’t stop me
46. I am qualified
47. I fulfill my destiny
48. Every experience I have had will help me help others
49. I keep getting better daily
50. I am not in a competition with anyone
51. I am unique and gifted for my purpose
52. I am not disgusting
53. I am not destructive
54. I don’t hate good
55. I am sane and reasonable
56. I am not beyond repair
57. I am full of joy and positivity
58. I am favoured by everyone
59. I love people
60. I am friendly
61. I am not boring
62. I am perfectly fit for my assignment
63. I am not faulty
64. I’m not always at fault
65. I have a good sense of judgement
66. I am creative
67. I am not a write-off
68. People admire me and the things I possess and do
69. I don’t live in shame
70. I love who I am
71. There’s no need to hide my face. I won’t hide anymore
All these statements are true as one who God has chosen and forgiven. You possess more good than you know of. You have been made a totally new person; don’t join the devil is saying you are what you really are not. You are free to be good because Christ has made you so. Now, declare this statements over your life as many times daily. Read How To Become A Self-Affirmation Pro for practical steps in maximizing these affirmations.
You are free from shame!
Olusegun Iyejare is a career coach and certified counselor. He helps individuals discover and maximize their potential to live satisfying lives regardless of obvious limitations holding them back.