Shame is a deep feeling of inadequacy that constantly clouds the unconscious mind of shame based individuals. This feeling always assures or reminds the individual that something is wrong with them, that they don’t (and worse, can’t) match up with certain standards they project for their life.
Shame is a lingering consciousness. Most victims don’t recognise they have shame-based thought patterns because of the natural and logical disguise in which they come. These thought patterns always produce reasons and prove why the individual is bad. Shame is different from guilt which comes as a result of something wrong a person perceives they have done or caused.
Difference Between Shame and Guilt
Guilt, most times, can be gotten over when the individual thinks they have not ‘made up’ for the wrong they have done but shame on the other hand doesn’t focus on an act but on the person. If you have shame-based thought patterns, you will fight yourself and condemn yourself when you do something you think you shouldn’t do.
While guilt says, This thing I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m deeply sorry. Shame says I have done another wrong. I am always wrong. I can’t be any good. I am a total mess just as I have always been.
Causes of Shame-based Thought Patterns
Shame-based thought patterns are formed majorly from our childhood.
People who grow up in abusive environment can easily get the message that they are undeserving, inadequate and inferior. In other words, that they should feel ashamed. –Verywell mind
Shame-based thought patterns are also common to people who have suffered from traumatic experiences in the past like the loss of a loved one or rape. Their inner critic picks up the experience and tries to make them see how their bad self is the originator of all the dark moments. To understand how the inner critic works and how to make it work for you, read this.
Freedom from shame-based thought patterns is possible but it takes time. The conditioning of the mind to those mindsets didn’t come at once so it will also take time to recondition the mind into right thinking. This is where self-affirmation comes in.
What Is Affirmation For Shame?
Affirmation for shame is the journey to convincing yourself (your inner critic) that you are not bad and there is nothing wrong with you because, really, there is nothing wrong with you.
Now, over to the shame breaking affirmations you should declare over yourself daily.
All these statements are true as one who God has chosen and forgiven. You possess more good than you know of. You have been made a totally new person; don’t join the devil is saying you are what you really are not. You are free to be good because Christ has made you so. Now, declare this statements over your life as many times daily. Read How To Become A Self-Affirmation Pro for practical steps in maximizing these affirmations.
Olusegun Iyejare is a career coach and certified counselor. He helps individuals discover and maximize their potential to live satisfying lives regardless of obvious limitations holding them back.
